Connect with the Dapper Minds Society

The conversation doesn't end with Monday's newsletter. Join our growing community across social platforms where sophisticated men continue the discussion about authentic transformation, conscious parenting, and intentional living.

Follow us on all platforms: linktr.ee/DapperMindsSociety

Share your insights, ask questions, and connect with other men who are committed to breaking cycles and building better versions of themselves. The brotherhood extends beyond the inbox.

Don't Dim Their Light: What Disney Taught Me About Parenting

Picture this: A seven-year-old girl bounces on her toes as she rounds the corner and catches her first glimpse of Cinderella Castle. Her eyes widen to saucers, her mouth drops open, and she lets out a squeal of pure delight that could power the entire Magic Kingdom. "DADDY! DADDY! LOOK! IT'S REAL! IT'S ACTUALLY REAL!"

Her father doesn't look up from his phone. "Shh. Use your inside voice. People are staring."

The light in her eyes dims just a little.

This scene played out dozens of times during my week at Disney World, and each time it felt like watching someone snuff out a candle. Children experiencing wonder—the exact response Disney spent billions of dollars to create—were being corrected, hushed, and managed by parents who seemed to view their kids' excitement as a problem to solve rather than a miracle to witness.

The Laboratory of Disney: Where Parenting Gets Exposed

Disney World is perhaps the world's most revealing laboratory for observing parent-child dynamics under stress. Strip away the familiar routines of home, add Florida heat, long lines, overstimulation, and financial pressure, then throw in the most exciting environment many children have ever experienced, and you get a perfect storm that exposes every family's true patterns.

What I observed over five days wasn't pretty:

The Phone Zombies: Parents scrolling through social media while their children experienced genuine wonder for the first time. Kids pointing excitedly at details in elaborate queues—animatronics, interactive elements, Disney magic happening all around them—while mom and dad remained buried in screens, grunting occasional acknowledgments.

The Joy Police: Fathers and mothers treating normal childhood excitement like criminal behavior. "Stop running!" (in a theme park designed for fun). "Quit being so loud!" (in an environment created to elicit joy). "Calm down right now!" (to children seeing actual magic).

The Emotional Suppressors: Parents who seemed personally offended by their children's big emotions. When kids got disappointed about ride closures, overwhelmed by crowds, or frustrated by wait times, instead of helping them process these feelings, parents either dismissed them ("You're being dramatic") or punished them ("If you don't stop crying, we're leaving").

The Control Freaks: Mothers and fathers micromanaging every moment of what was supposed to be a magical experience. "Don't touch that. Stay here. Stop looking around. Pay attention to me, not the entertainment Disney created specifically for you."

The Perfect Storm: Overwhelmed Adults vs. Naturally Excited Children

What I witnessed at Disney revealed a fundamental misunderstanding about child development that's destroying parent-child relationships everywhere:

The Setup: Take children to the most stimulating, exciting environment designed specifically to create wonder and joy. Surround them with larger-than-life characters, thrilling rides, magical experiences, and endless sensory input. Tell them this is a special vacation where dreams come true.

The Expectation: Expect these same children—whose prefrontal cortex won't be fully developed for another 15-20 years—to regulate their emotions like seasoned adults. Demand that they contain their excitement, manage their disappointment, and process overwhelming stimulation with the emotional sophistication of people three times their age.

The Result: When children respond with natural, developmentally appropriate excitement, energy, and emotional intensity, parents interpret this as misbehavior requiring immediate correction.

The Neuroscience of Excitement: Why Kids Can't "Just Calm Down"

Understanding what happens in a child's brain during exciting experiences explains why Disney meltdowns are normal, not pathological:

Dopamine Flood: When children encounter novel, exciting experiences, their brains release massive amounts of dopamine—the neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and reward. This creates intense feelings of joy, anticipation, and energy that are literally neurochemical responses beyond their conscious control.

Prefrontal Cortex Override: Excitement activates the limbic system (emotion center) while temporarily reducing prefrontal cortex activity (rational thinking center). Children literally cannot "think through" their excitement because the thinking part of their brain is temporarily offline.

Sensory Overload: Disney environments are designed to overwhelm the senses—sounds, lights, colors, movement, crowds, music. For developing nervous systems, this creates a state of hyperarousal that requires adult co-regulation, not adult criticism.

Energy Discharge Necessity: Big emotions create physical energy that must be discharged. When children can't move, jump, run, or express their excitement physically, it builds up like pressure in a steam engine until it explodes in ways that look like "misbehavior."

The Mirror Principle in Action: Children in exciting environments need calm, regulated adults to help them process the experience. When parents respond with stress, irritation, or overwhelm, children mirror that energy, escalating the very behavior parents are trying to control.

The Walmart Test: Everyday Parenting Reveals Our True Patterns

You might think, "Well, I haven't taken my kids to Disney, so this doesn't apply to me." But the same dynamics play out in everyday locations—and Walmart is the perfect example.

Watch what happens when you take children to any stimulating environment: toy stores, grocery stores, malls, even Target. Children see things that excite them. They want to explore, touch, ask questions, and express enthusiasm. How do we typically respond?

The Common Pattern:

• Child: "Ooh! Can we look at the toys?"

• Parent: "No, we're here for groceries."

• Child: "But can we just walk down the toy aisle?"

• Parent: "I said no. Stop asking."

• Child: Gets disappointed or persistent

• Parent: Gets frustrated and either gives harsh consequences or completely gives in

My Family's Walmart System: When we go to Walmart, I tell my kids, "You each have a $5 budget." My three-year-old doesn't fully understand money yet, but my ten-year-old does. When they pick up something expensive, instead of saying "No" (which triggers opposition), I say, "Hey buddy, that's not in your budget."

The Results:

• They learn about money and budgeting

• They practice decision-making within limits

• There's no power struggle because I'm not the bad guy—the budget is

• Their excitement gets channeled into thoughtful choices

• They feel empowered rather than controlled

The Principle: It's not about the specific tool (budget system). It's about finding ways to honor children's excitement while teaching them to work within realistic boundaries. It's about saying "not that" instead of "no." It's about structure that supports rather than suppresses their natural enthusiasm.

The Real Problem: Parents Who Can't Handle Joy

The deeper issue revealed at Disney wasn't children's behavior—it was parents' inability to tolerate, appreciate, and appropriately channel childhood joy.

Why Parents Struggle with Children's Excitement:

Overwhelm and Stress: Parents operating from chronic stress hormones (cortisol) interpret children's high energy as additional stressors rather than expressions of joy. When you're already overwhelmed, excitement feels like chaos.

Unhealed Childhood Wounds: Many parents never experienced unconditional acceptance of their own childhood emotions. If your excitement was consistently shut down, criticized, or punished, your children's joy might trigger your own unhealed wounds around emotional expression.

Performance Anxiety: In public settings like Disney, parents feel judged by other adults. Children's loud, exuberant behavior feels embarrassing rather than delightful because we're prioritizing strangers' opinions over our children's authentic experience.

Control Issues: Parents who struggle with uncertainty or feeling out of control may try to manage their anxiety by controlling their children's emotional expression. But excitement, by nature, is uncontrollable—which makes it threatening to control-oriented parents.

Energy Mismatch: Tired, overwhelmed parents don't have the energy to match or appropriately channel their children's enthusiasm. Instead of celebrating the joy, they try to eliminate it to reduce their own exhaustion.

Phone Escape: Many parents use devices to escape the intensity of parenting rather than engaging with their children's experiences. Phones become barriers that protect us from having to fully show up for our kids' emotions.

The Training Ground: Every Interaction Is Teaching

Here's what I realized watching families at Disney: every single interaction between parent and child is training. Not training in the sense of "teaching them to obey," but training in the deeper sense of shaping how they'll experience and express emotions for the rest of their lives.

What We Think We're Teaching:

• Appropriate behavior in public

• How to manage excitement

• Respect for others

• Self-control

What We're Actually Teaching:

• Whether their emotions are acceptable or shameful

• Whether their joy matters less than others' comfort

• Whether authentic expression is safe or dangerous

• Whether parents are sources of regulation or additional stress

The Disney Lessons Children Actually Learn:

From Parents on Phones: "My wonder and excitement aren't as interesting as whatever's on dad's screen. I'm not worth full attention even in magical moments."

From "Calm Down" Commands: "My natural responses to joy are problems. Excitement is wrong. I should suppress my authentic feelings to manage others' comfort."

From Constant Correction: "I can't trust my instincts. My way of experiencing the world is always wrong. I need external management to be acceptable."

From Impatient Reactions: "My emotions are burdens. When I feel things deeply, I create problems for people I love. It's safer to shut down than to feel."

The Mirror Principle: They're Learning What You're Modeling

The Hebrew word "chanoch" (חנוך) from Proverbs 22:6 reveals profound truth about how children actually learn. While English translations say "train up a child," the Hebrew concept is much richer—it means to dedicate, inaugurate, or initiate. It's not about giving commands children obey; it's about modeling the way of life they'll naturally follow.

"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it" (Proverbs 22:6).

The verse doesn't say "train a child to do what you say." It says train them "in the way"—the path, the manner of living, the approach to life that you demonstrate through your own behavior.

What Children Mirror from Disney Interactions:

Stress Management: If you handle overwhelm by becoming irritable, impatient, and controlling, they learn that stress justifies treating others poorly.

Emotional Regulation: If you can't tolerate their big emotions, they learn that feelings are dangerous and should be suppressed or hidden.

Relationship Priorities: If you choose phone scrolling over presence during special moments, they learn that connection isn't as important as distraction.

Joy Processing: If you treat their excitement as inconvenience, they learn that joy should be contained rather than celebrated.

Problem-Solving: If you respond to their emotional needs with irritation rather than creativity (like budget systems), they learn that problems are met with frustration rather than innovation.

"You're not raising children who do what you say—you're raising children who do what you do."

The parents I watched at Disney who were constantly correcting, controlling, and managing their children were unknowingly training future parents who would correct, control, and manage their own children. The cycle continues until someone chooses to break it.

The Generational Pattern: When Our Childhood Wounds Dim Their Light

Perhaps the most heartbreaking aspect of what I witnessed was recognizing how many parents were unconsciously passing on their own childhood emotional wounds:

The "Children Should Be Seen and Not Heard" Generation: Parents who grew up with emotional suppression naturally suppress their own children's emotions. They're not being cruel—they're parenting the way they were parented.

The "Waste of Money" Wound: Parents who felt like financial burdens as children may overreact to their own children's requests or excitement, projecting their own shame about being "expensive" onto normal childhood desires.

The "Don't Embarrass Me" Trauma: Parents who were shamed for their childhood behavior in public become hypersensitive to their own children's public expression, prioritizing others' opinions over their children's emotional needs.

The "I Never Got That" Resentment: Parents who were denied childhood joy may feel unconscious resentment when their children experience wonder, excitement, or special experiences they never had.

The "Life Is Hard" Programming: Parents who were forced to grow up too quickly may try to prepare their children for "real life" by eliminating joy, play, and wonder—the very things that build resilience for life's inevitable difficulties.

The Co-Regulation Solution: Becoming Their Emotional Thermostat

The answer isn't eliminating children's excitement—it's learning to co-regulate with them. Co-regulation means helping children process big emotions rather than demanding they suppress them.

What Co-Regulation Looks Like at Disney (or Walmart):

Instead of: "Stop being so excited!" Try: "Wow, you're really excited about this ride! Tell me what you're most looking forward to."

Instead of: "Calm down right now!" Try: "You have such big feelings about this! Let's take some deep breaths together."

Instead of: "You're being too loud!" Try: "I can see how happy this makes you. Let's use our inside voices so everyone can enjoy the magic."

Instead of: "Stop running around!" Try: "You have so much energy! Let's find a way to use that energy while we wait."

Instead of: Phone scrolling during their excitement Try: "Show me what you're seeing! What's the coolest thing about this?"

Practical Tools for Channeling Excitement

Here are specific strategies I've developed for supporting rather than suppressing children's natural enthusiasm:

The Budget System (Walmart/Gift Shops):

• Give each child a small spending budget

• Let them make choices within limits

• Say "that's outside your budget" instead of "no"

• Teaches money management while avoiding power struggles

The Wonder Acknowledgment:

• "Your excitement shows me how special this is to you"

• "I love seeing how happy this makes you"

• "Tell me what's most amazing about this"

• Validates their emotions rather than correcting them

The Energy Channel:

• "You have so much energy! Let's count how many people we see in Mickey ears"

• "While we wait, let's see who can spot the most hidden Mickeys"

• "Let's practice our ride poses for the camera"

• Redirects energy rather than suppressing it

The Emotional Preparation:

• Before entering stimulating environments, prepare children for what to expect

• "This is going to be really exciting! Your body might feel lots of energy. That's normal and okay."

• "If you start feeling overwhelmed, we can take breaks together."

• Sets realistic expectations and provides co-regulation plan

The Phone Boundary:

• Designate phone-free times during special experiences

• "This is our magical moment together. Phones away."

• Be fully present for their wonder instead of documenting it

• Your attention is more valuable than your photos

The Disappointment Support:

• When rides break down or plans change: "That's really disappointing! I can see you're sad about that."

• "It's okay to feel upset when something you were excited about doesn't happen."

• "Let's think together about what we could do instead."

• Validates emotions rather than dismissing them

The Biblical Foundation: God's Delight in Childlike Joy

Scripture reveals that God not only tolerates children's enthusiasm—He delights in it and uses it as a model for how we should approach Him:

Jesus' Revolutionary Response to Children: "People were bringing little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, 'Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these'" (Mark 10:13-14).

Notice that the disciples tried to manage and control the children's access to Jesus—exactly what modern parents do. They saw children as disruptive, inappropriate, or bothersome. But Jesus was "indignant" at this response. He didn't just tolerate children; He welcomed their enthusiasm and used it as an example.

The Call to Childlike Wonder: "Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven" (Matthew 18:3).

Jesus doesn't tell children to become like adults—He tells adults to become like children. The qualities we often try to suppress in children (wonder, enthusiasm, authentic emotion, trust, spontaneity) are the very qualities Jesus says we need to cultivate.

God's Response to Our Excitement: "The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing" (Zephaniah 3:17).

God doesn't tell us to calm down when we're excited about His goodness. He delights in our joy and even sings over us. This is the model for how we should respond to our children's excitement.

The Hebrew Understanding: חנוך - Training Through Modeling

The Hebrew word "chanoch" (חנוך) in Proverbs 22:6 provides profound insight into how children actually learn:

"חנוך לנער על פי דרכו גם כי יזקין לא יסור ממנה" "Train up a child according to his way, and when he is old, he will not depart from it."

Breaking Down the Hebrew:

Chanoch (חנוך) doesn't just mean "train" in the sense of giving commands. It means:

• To dedicate or consecrate

• To inaugurate or initiate

• To narrow or focus

• To begin a process of development

Al pi darko (על פי דרכו) means "according to his way" - recognizing the child's unique design, temperament, and natural inclinations rather than forcing conformity to external standards.

The Deeper Meaning: This verse isn't about making children comply with parental demands. It's about initiating children into a way of life through modeling and example. Children learn "the way" by watching how their parents navigate life, handle emotions, solve problems, and treat others.

What This Means for Parenting: Every interaction is training (chanoch). When you:

• Respond to their excitement with irritation → you train them to suppress joy

• Handle your stress by controlling them → you train them to handle stress through control

• Choose phones over presence → you train them to prioritize distraction over connection

• React to their emotions with your emotions → you train them that emotions are contagious and dangerous

The Mirror Reality: Children don't learn what you teach them—they learn what you show them. Your way of being in the world becomes their way of being in the world. This is why the verse says "when he is old, he will not depart from it." The patterns you model become their unconscious operating system.

The Choice: Dim Their Light or Fan Their Flame

As I stood in those Disney lines, watching parent after parent unconsciously teach their children that joy was a problem to be managed, I realized I had a choice to make—not just at Disney, but in every interaction with my children:

Will I be a light dimmer or a flame fanner?

Light Dimmers:

• See children's excitement as inconvenience

• Prioritize others' comfort over children's authentic expression

• Use control to manage their own discomfort with big emotions

• Model that phones are more interesting than family experiences

• React to children's emotions with their own emotional dysregulation

Flame Fanners:

• See children's excitement as a gift to celebrate

• Prioritize children's emotional development over strangers' opinions

• Use co-regulation to help children process big emotions

• Model presence and engagement during special moments

• Respond to children's emotions with calm, supportive guidance

The Long-Term Impact:

Children of Light Dimmers Learn:

• Joy should be contained or hidden

• Their authentic emotions are burdens

• Others' comfort matters more than their feelings

• Connection isn't safe during vulnerable moments

• Excitement is something to be managed, not celebrated

Children of Flame Fanners Learn:

• Joy is welcome and celebrated

• Their emotions are valuable and accepted

• Their feelings matter and deserve attention

• Connection is strongest during big emotional moments

• Excitement is a gift to be shared and enjoyed

Moving Forward: The Daily Practice of Flame Fanning

Becoming a flame fanner rather than a light dimmer requires intentional daily practice:

Morning Intention:

Before your children wake up, set the intention: "Today I will celebrate my children's joy rather than manage it."

Phone Boundaries:

Create device-free zones during family interactions, especially during exciting moments like arriving somewhere special, opening gifts, or sharing discoveries.

Wonder Questions:

When your child gets excited about something, ask: "What's the most amazing thing about this?" "How does this make you feel?" "What do you want to remember about this moment?"

Excitement Validation:

Instead of "calm down," try: "You're so excited!" "I can see how happy this makes you!" "Your joy is beautiful!"

Energy Redirection:

When children need to discharge excitement energy, find appropriate ways: dancing, jumping, counting games, observation challenges, or movement breaks.

Disappointment Support:

When excitement turns to disappointment, offer co-regulation: "That's really disappointing." "It makes sense that you'd feel sad about that." "Let's figure out what to do with these big feelings."

Modeling Wonder:

Show your own excitement and wonder about everyday things. Children learn to appreciate magic by watching adults appreciate magic.

The Ripple Effect: Raising Joy-Celebrators

When you choose to fan your children's flames rather than dim their light, you're not just improving their childhood—you're shaping the kind of adults they'll become and the kind of parents they'll be.

Children who grow up with celebrated excitement become:

• Adults who aren't afraid of their own emotions

• Partners who can handle their spouse's big feelings

• Parents who celebrate their own children's joy

• Leaders who inspire rather than suppress others' enthusiasm

• People who can fully experience life's magical moments

Children who grow up with suppressed excitement become:

• Adults who are disconnected from their emotions

• Partners who are triggered by others' intensity

• Parents who repeat the suppression cycle

• Leaders who control rather than inspire

• People who miss life's magic because they learned it was dangerous

The Disney Challenge

I want to challenge you with this: The next time your child gets excited about something—anything—resist your first impulse to manage, control, or calm them down. Instead:

1. Stop what you're doing and give them your full attention

2. Let their excitement wash over you without trying to change it

3. Ask them questions about what they're experiencing

4. Share in their wonder rather than managing their energy

5. Thank them for sharing their joy with you

You don't need to take your children to Disney to practice this. Every trip to the grocery store, every walk through the neighborhood, every moment of discovery in your own home is an opportunity to choose between dimming their light and fanning their flame.

The magic isn't in the destination—it's in your response to their wonder.

Your children's excitement is not a problem to be solved. It's a gift to be treasured. Their joy is not chaos to be controlled. It's life to be celebrated. Their wonder is not immaturity to be corrected. It's the very quality Jesus said we need to cultivate.

Don't dim their light. The world will try to do that soon enough. Instead, be the parent who fans their flame, who celebrates their wonder, who shows them that their joy matters and their excitement is welcome.

Because the way you respond to their light today determines whether they'll carry that flame into adulthood or spend their adult years trying to rekindle what was dimmed in childhood.

The mirror doesn't lie, but it also offers the opportunity for change. What will you choose to reflect?

The Hebrew Heart: Biblical Foundation for Celebrating Childhood Joy

The wisdom of Scripture provides profound insight into God's heart for children and His design for how they should be nurtured, celebrated, and guided into maturity. The Hebrew understanding of child-rearing reveals principles that directly challenge modern tendencies to suppress rather than celebrate childhood wonder.

The Chanoch Principle: Training Through Modeling

Proverbs 22:6 in Hebrew: "חנוך לנער על פי דרכו גם כי יזקין לא יסור ממנה" "Chanoch la'na'ar al pi darko, gam ki yazkin lo yasur mimena" "Train up a child according to his way, and when he is old, he will not depart from it."

The Hebrew word chanoch (חנוך) is far richer than the English translation "train" suggests:

Root Meaning of Chanoch:

• To dedicate or consecrate - setting apart for sacred purpose

• To inaugurate or initiate - beginning a lifelong process

• To narrow or focus - helping them discover their unique calling

• To taste or experience - allowing them to sample life's goodness

Al Pi Darko (על פי דרכו) - "According to His Way" This phrase reveals that effective training honors the child's unique design rather than forcing conformity. The Hebrew acknowledges that each child has an inherent "way" or path that should be respected and developed, not suppressed.

The Deeper Hebrew Understanding:

Every Interaction Is Chanoch (Training): The Hebrew concept reveals that children are constantly being "trained" - not through formal instruction but through observational learning. Every moment they spend with you, they're absorbing your way of:

• Handling emotions

• Responding to excitement

• Managing disappointment

• Solving problems

• Relating to others

• Experiencing joy

The Disney Application: When parents at Disney respond to children's excitement with irritation, they're providing chanoch (training) that teaches:

• Joy is a problem to be managed

• Authentic emotions are inconvenient

• Others' comfort matters more than your feelings

• Wonder should be suppressed rather than celebrated

The Biblical Alternative: Hebrew child-rearing wisdom suggests responding to excitement with celebration, guidance, and shared wonder—providing chanoch that teaches:

• Joy is a gift to be treasured

• Authentic emotions are welcome

• Your feelings matter and deserve attention

• Wonder is to be cultivated and shared

Jesus' Revolutionary Response to Children

The Gospels reveal Jesus' radical departure from cultural norms regarding children—norms that often mirror modern tendencies to control and suppress childhood enthusiasm:

Mark 10:13-16: The Disciples' Mistake "People were bringing little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, 'Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.' And he took the children in his arms, placed his hands on them and blessed them."

Breaking Down Jesus' Response:

"The disciples rebuked them" - The disciples acted like modern parents who see children's enthusiasm as disruptive and inappropriate. They tried to manage and control access, viewing children as bothersome interruptions.

"Jesus was indignant" - The Greek word (aganakteo) means to be deeply moved with anger. Jesus wasn't mildly annoyed—He was genuinely upset that adults were hindering children's natural approach to Him.

"Do not hinder them" - The Greek word (koluo) means to prevent, forbid, or restrain. Jesus explicitly commands against the very behavior I witnessed at Disney—adults restraining children's natural responses to wonder and joy.

"He took the children in his arms" - Jesus didn't just tolerate children; He physically embraced them, demonstrating that their presence was not just acceptable but delightful.

The Kingdom Paradox: Adults Learning from Children

Matthew 18:1-4: The Greatest in the Kingdom "At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, 'Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?' He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: 'Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.'"

The Revolutionary Teaching: Jesus doesn't tell children to become like adults—He tells adults to become like children. The qualities we often try to suppress in children are the very qualities Jesus says we need to cultivate:

Childlike Qualities Jesus Celebrates:

• Wonder and awe - seeing magic in ordinary moments

• Authentic emotion - feeling deeply without pretense

• Trust and dependence - relying on others without shame

• Forgiveness - not holding grudges or keeping score

• Joy in simple things - finding delight in small pleasures

• Present-moment living - not worrying about tomorrow

• Honest expression - saying what they feel without political correctness

The Disney Application: When children at Disney express wonder, excitement, and authentic emotion, they're demonstrating the very qualities Jesus said define Kingdom citizenship. Parents who suppress these qualities are hindering their children's spiritual development.

God's Delight in Our Excitement

Zephaniah 3:17: The Singing God "The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing."

Hebrew Word Study: "Yasis" (יָשִׂישׂ) - "will take great delight" means to exult, rejoice exceedingly, be joyful. This is the same emotion children feel at Disney—unbridled, exuberant joy.

God's Response to Our Joy:

• He delights in our excitement about His goodness

• He rejoices when we express wonder

• He sings over us—the ultimate expression of celebratory joy

• He doesn't tell us to "calm down" when we're excited about His blessings

The Parenting Parallel: If God responds to our excitement with singing and celebration, how should we respond to our children's excitement? The biblical model is clear: joy should be met with joy

The Call to Divine-Modeled Parenting

Scripture calls fathers to model God's character in their response to children's emotional expression:

Psalm 103:13-14: The Father's Heart "As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust."

God understands our limitations and responds with compassion. How much more should we understand our children's developmental appropriateness and respond with celebration rather than suppression?

The Biblical Challenge: Does my response to my child's wonder reflect God's character or my own discomfort? Am I modeling the patience and celebration I've received from God, or am I demanding emotional perfection I myself don't demonstrate?

When we celebrate childhood wonder the way God celebrates our wonder, we give our children an accurate picture of divine love. When we suppress their joy, we distort their understanding of God's character and create barriers to spiritual development.

Reflection Challenge: The Wonder Recovery Assessment

This week, I challenge you to complete this honest assessment of your relationship with childhood excitement and create an action plan for becoming a flame fanner instead of a light dimmer:

Step 1: Personal Wonder History

Reflect on your own childhood experiences with excitement and emotion:

"When I was excited as a child, my parents typically responded by: ____________________"

"The message I learned about my emotions was: ____________________"

"I learned that excitement was: ____________________"

"When I expressed wonder or joy, I felt: ____________________"

Step 2: Current Pattern Recognition

Rate yourself honestly (1-10 scale):

Wonder Response Assessment:

• "When my child gets excited, I feel: ___/10 (1=frustrated, 10=delighted)"

• "I celebrate my children's joy rather than managing it: ___/10"

• "I'm fully present during their exciting moments: ___/10"

• "I see their emotions as gifts rather than problems: ___/10"

Public Behavior Assessment:

• "I prioritize my children's authentic expression over others' opinions: ___/10"

• "I'm comfortable with my children being enthusiastic in public: ___/10"

• "I choose connection over phone distraction during family outings: ___/10"

• "I help my children process disappointment rather than dismissing it: ___/10"

Step 3: Family Mirror Assessment

Complete these observations about how your children respond to your patterns:

"When I'm stressed or overwhelmed, my children typically respond by: ____________________"

"My children seem most free to express excitement when: ____________________"

"The family member who gets the most patient response to their emotions is: ____________________"

"My children have learned that their emotions are: ____________________"

Step 4: The Wonder Recovery Plan

Choose ONE action in each category to implement this week:

Presence Practice: □ Put phone away completely during one family activity daily □ Ask "wonder questions" when children get excited □ Make eye contact during their emotional expressions □ Set aside dedicated "wonder time" each day

Response Transformation: □ Replace "calm down" with "tell me about your excitement" □ Celebrate instead of correct one moment of enthusiasm daily □ Practice deep breathing before responding to big emotions □ Use the "budget system" approach for one regular activity

Energy Channeling: □ Create movement breaks during overstimulating experiences □ Find appropriate ways to discharge excitement energy □ Practice the "observation game" during wait times □ Plan for emotional needs during family outings

Biblical Integration: □ Pray for your children's emotional development daily □ Study one passage about God's delight in joy weekly □ Practice seeing your children's excitement as Jesus sees it □ Ask God to heal your own wounds around emotional expression

Step 5: The Disney Test Challenge

Plan one "practice run" this week where you intentionally choose wonder celebration over management:

"This week, I will take my children to: ____________________"

"When they get excited, instead of my usual response, I will: ____________________"

"I will measure success by: ____________________"

"I will prepare for this experience by: ____________________"

Wonder Recovery Prayer

Heavenly Father, I confess that I have dimmed my children's light when You call me to fan their flame. I have treated their joy as inconvenience when You see it as Kingdom citizenship. I have suppressed the very qualities You tell me to cultivate.

Forgive me for: - Prioritizing others' comfort over my children's authentic expression - Teaching them that their emotions are burdens rather than gifts - Missing magical moments because I was distracted or overwhelmed - Passing on my own childhood wounds around emotional expression - Modeling that control matters more than connection

Transform me into: - A parent who celebrates wonder rather than manages it - A father whose presence creates safety for big emotions - A leader who fans flames rather than dims lights - A man who models the delight You take in my own excitement - A guide who helps my children process emotions rather than suppress them

Heal my own relationship with joy and wonder. Help me to access the childlike qualities You say I need for Your Kingdom. Let my children experience in me a preview of how You celebrate their authentic selves.

Give me eyes to see their excitement as You see it—as pure, beautiful, and worthy of celebration. Give me patience when they're overwhelmed, wisdom when they need guidance, and presence when they need connection.

Let my home become a sanctuary where wonder is welcomed, emotions are honored, and joy is celebrated. May my children never doubt that their authentic selves are treasures to be cherished, not problems to be managed.

In Jesus' name, who welcomed children with open arms, Amen.

Your Daily Affirmation

What Does Not Define You:

• Your past does not define you – it refines you

• Your scars do not define you – they remind you of your strength

• Your pain does not define you – it teaches you compassion

• Your mistakes do not define you – they guide your growth

• Your failures do not define you – they pave your path to success

• Your struggles do not define you – they shape your resilience

• Your fears do not define you – they reveal your courage

• Your doubts do not define you – they lead you to certainty

• Your wounds do not define you – they mark where you've healed

• Your trauma does not define you – it shows what you've overcome

What Defines You (Biblical Promises):

• You are the head and not the tail (Deuteronomy 28:13)

• You are more than a conqueror (Romans 8:37)

• You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14)

• You are chosen and appointed to bear fruit (John 15:16)

• You are God's masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10)

• You are a royal priesthood, a holy nation (1 Peter 2:9)

• You are blessed coming in and going out (Deuteronomy 28:6)

• You are the light of the world (Matthew 5:14)

• You are redeemed and forgiven (Ephesians 1:7)

• You are sealed with the promised Holy Spirit (Ephesians 1:13)

• You are a new creation; the old has passed away (2 Corinthians 5:17)

• You are an overcomer by the blood of the Lamb (Revelation 12:11)

Daily Declaration: I choose love hormones over stress hormones. I choose connection over isolation. I choose peace over anxiety. I cast my burdens on God and receive His rest for my soul. My family experiences me as a source of safety, not stress. I am winning the battle for my family's heart through God's strength and grace. Today I create an environment of love, peace, and security in my home.

10 Powerful Exercises to Reclaim Mental Control and Strengthen Your Prefrontal Cortex

1. The 5-Minute Mindfulness Pause

Objective: Develop impulse control and present-moment awareness

How to Practice:

• Set a timer for 5 minutes

• Sit in a comfortable position

• Close your eyes

• Focus entirely on your breath

• When thoughts drift, gently bring attention back to breathing

• Do not judge your wandering thoughts

Daily Impact: Builds mental discipline, reduces reactive thinking, increases focus

2. Cognitive Flexibility Challenge

Objective: Enhance mental adaptability and problem-solving skills

How to Practice:

• Choose a daily task and complete it differently

• Take a new route to work

• Eat with your non-dominant hand

• Rearrange your workspace

• Learn a new skill that challenges your comfort zone

Daily Impact: Creates new neural pathways, breaks automatic thinking patterns

3. Emotional Detachment Meditation

Objective: Improve emotional regulation and stress management

How to Practice:

• Sit quietly and recall a triggering memory

• Observe the emotion without getting pulled into it

• Breathe deeply

• Imagine the emotion as a cloud passing through the sky

• Do not engage or suppress—simply observe

Daily Impact: Reduces emotional reactivity, increases emotional intelligence

4. The Urge Surfing Technique

Objective: Strengthen impulse control

How to Practice:

• When an urge arises (to check phone, eat junk food, etc.)

• Pause for 5-10 minutes

• Notice the physical sensations of the urge

• Breathe through it

• Do not act on the impulse

• Track how long the urge lasts

Daily Impact: Reduces addictive behaviors, increases self-control

5. Decision-Making Deliberation Exercise

Objective: Enhance critical thinking and decision-making skills

How to Practice:

• For important decisions, create a pros and cons list

• Wait 24 hours before making the final choice

• Analyze the decision from multiple perspectives

• Consider potential long-term consequences

• Reflect on your decision-making process

Daily Impact: Improves strategic thinking, reduces impulsive choices

6. Attention Span Training

Objective: Improve focus and concentration

How to Practice:

• Choose a complex task (reading, learning a skill)

• Set a timer for 25 minutes

• Focus entirely on the task

• No multitasking

• If mind wanders, gently bring attention back

• Take a 5-minute break

• Repeat

Daily Impact: Increases mental endurance, reduces distractibility

7. Stress Response Rewiring

Objective: Manage stress and emotional reactivity

How to Practice:

• When stressed, pause and take 3 deep breaths

• Name the emotion you're experiencing

• Ask: "Is this reaction helping or hurting me?"

• Consciously choose a more balanced response

• Visualize a calm, centered version of yourself

Daily Impact: Reduces cortisol, improves emotional regulation

8. Digital Detox and Mindful Technology Use

Objective: Reduce dopamine dependency and improve attention

How to Practice:

• Set strict daily screen time limits

• Create tech-free zones in your home

• Turn off unnecessary notifications

• Practice one full day of digital detox weekly

• Use apps that track and limit screen time

Daily Impact: Increases attention span, reduces compulsive behaviors

9. Physical-Cognitive Integration

Objective: Enhance brain plasticity and cognitive function

How to Practice:

• Combine physical exercise with cognitive challenges

• Try dancing with complex choreography

• Practice martial arts

• Do yoga with intricate sequences

• Play sports requiring strategic thinking

Daily Impact: Increases brain-derived neurotrophic factor, improves cognitive flexibility

10. Gratitude and Perspective Shifting

Objective: Develop emotional resilience and positive neural pathways

How to Practice:

• Keep a daily gratitude journal

• Write 3 things you're grateful for each day

• Reflect on challenges as opportunities for growth

• Practice compassion towards yourself and others

• Reframe negative experiences constructively

Daily Impact: Reduces negative thinking patterns, increases mental resilience

Recovery Timeline

• Initial changes: 4-8 weeks

• Significant improvements: 3-6 months

• Comprehensive neural restructuring: 1-2 years

Final Insight

Mental control is a skill, not a fixed trait. Your brain is constantly rewiring itself. Each intentional choice is a neural workout, rebuilding your capacity for focus, emotional regulation, and authentic living.

Consistency is key. Small, daily practices compound into profound transformation.

Daily Refinements for the Dapper Mind

The Art of Box Breathing:

Like adjusting a perfectly knotted tie, box breathing is about precision and intention. This elegant technique, used by elite military units and executives alike, brings calm with sophisticated simplicity:

Corner One:

Inhale for 4 counts - like methodically buttoning a vest

Corner Two:

Hold for 4 counts - steady, like maintaining perfect posture

Corner Three:

Exhale for 4 counts - smooth, like the perfect windsor knot

Corner Four:

Hold empty for 4 counts - poised, like the pause before a speech

Progressive Muscle Relaxation:

Moving through your body with the same attention to detail you'd give a wardrobe inspection:

• Begin at your feet, tensing each muscle group for 5 seconds

• Release with intention, noting the sensation of relief

• Progress upward like a master tailor examining fine fabric

• End at your facial muscles, feeling tension dissolve like morning mist

The 5-4-3-2-1 Method:

A grounding technique as refined as selecting accessories:

5 - things you can see - like choosing the perfect pocket square

4 - things you can touch - like feeling fine silk between your fingers

3 - things you can hear - like appreciating a symphony

2 - things you can smell - like sampling a signature cologne

1 - thing you can taste - like savoring aged wagyu steak

Mindful Walking:

Transform a simple stroll into a meditation in motion:

• Feel each step like testing fine leather shoes

• Notice your surroundings with the attention of a master craftsman

• Let your breath align with your pace, creating harmony in motion

Practice these techniques with the same dedication you bring to maintaining your finest garments. Your mind deserves no less attention than your wardrobe.

My articles published with Mental Health Television Network