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- February 2nd, 2025 - Episode 5:Love Is Not A Word It's A Movement
February 2nd, 2025 - Episode 5:Love Is Not A Word It's A Movement
Nickolas Stout
February 03, 2025
Table of Contents
Introduction
Dear Esteemed Members of The Dapper Minds Society,
As we navigate the early days of 2025, I'm struck by a profound realization: love is not a passive experience, but an active revolution. Much like the precision of a perfectly tailored suit or the meticulous maintenance of a vintage timepiece, love requires intentional care, consistent effort, and an unwavering commitment to repair rather than replace.
Here in Kentucky this week, a blend of mild temps and rain creates a soft backdrop, mirroring the subtle yet powerful nature of true love - not the fleeting emotion captured in Hollywood scripts, but the deep, transformative action that rebuilds, restores, and renews. Just as a skilled craftsman breathes new life into a cherished heirloom, we'll explore how love is less about perfect feelings and more about deliberate choices.
Our feature article peels back the veneer of modern love, challenging the disposable mindset that has crept into our relationships. We'll journey through the wisdom of generations past, decode the Hebrew concept of love as action, and reclaim a understanding of love that goes far beyond mere sentiment.
Before you dive into this week's content, I want to highlight two resources that continue to illuminate our path:
First, our ongoing connection with the National Day Calendar – a reminder that every day holds potential for meaningful action.
Second, an exciting update from the Mental Health Television Network, where we continue to champion sophisticated approaches to emotional wellness.
Thank you for being part of The Dapper Minds Society, where we believe true refinement is not just observed, but actively pursued. If today's message resonates, share this newsletter with those who might benefit from our community of minds committed to growth.
In Purposeful Love,
Nick Stout - Founder,
The Dapper Minds Society
What is love? Baby don't hurt me...
Before you dismiss that 90's reference with a well-groomed eyebrow raise, grab a pen. Write down what love means to you. Right now. Go ahead - I'll wait with all the patience of a perfectly aged wagyu steak.
Got it? Good. Hold onto that definition. Like a man adjusting his tie before stepping into an important meeting, we're about to straighten out some crooked thinking about love.
Most of us would say love is an emotion. A feeling. That warmth in your chest when someone special walks in the room. That flutter when they smile. And you're not wrong - but you're seeing only the pocket square when there's an entire bespoke suit to consider.
They say love is blind, but true love sees everything - the cracks, the breaks, the imperfections - and chooses to fix rather than discard. In a world of replacers, be a repairer.
Love through the ages
Let me take you back in time.
Picture this: The Great Depression. Your roof is leaking. Your truck won't start. Your pockets are empty, but your determination is full. You climb that ladder in the rain. You pop that hood in the cold. You fix what's broken because that's what real men, real women - real people - do. Not because it's easy, but because what matters deserves maintenance.
Now snap back to 2025.
We live in a microwave society. Everything's instant, disposable, replaceable. Something breaks? "Just replace it." TV acting up? "Time for an upgrade." Marriage hitting rough patches? "There are other fish in the sea."
We've become a society of replacers, not repairers. And it's not just our possessions - it's our relationships, our commitments, our love.
The Lesson Faux Paux
Think about this: We bring home a new TV, mount it on the wall, and what's the first thing we say?
"I love it!"
Fast forward one year. It breaks. What do we do? Trash it. Buy new. Why? Because society has programmed us that repair costs more than replacement. It's "smarter" to buy new than fix what's broken.
But here's where it gets scary: What message are we sending our children about the things - and people - we claim to love?
When something breaks... replace it. When something's difficult... swap it. When something requires effort... upgrade it.
Is it any wonder our divorce rates look so different from our grandparents' generation? Look at couples from the Depression era - 50, 60 years together. Their secret wasn't that they found perfect love. Their secret was they fixed what broke.
Rosetta Stoned: Love's Only Universal Language is Action
Here's where we need to polish our understanding: The Hebrew word for love is "Ahava." Like a perfectly tailored suit that requires action to maintain its form, Ahava isn't just a noun - it's a verb. An action. A movement.
Love isn't just something you feel - it's something you do.
Ask any child what love means. They won't give you poetry about emotions or quote romantic movies. They'll spell it T-I-M-E.
Playing catch in the backyard despite deadlines looming
Listening to their day's adventures when you're bone tired
Showing up at their games when the office needs you
Being present when they need you, not just when it's convenient
Putting down your phone to look them in the eyes
All actions. All choices. All love.
Love Handles: Getting a Grip on What We've Lost
But in 2025, we've twisted love into something unrecognizable. Like a counterfeit watch trying to pass as luxury, we've cheapened love into a measurement tool: "If she loved me, she would..." "If he really loves me, then..." "I said 'I love you' and they didn't answer me back so..."
We've turned love into a transaction when it was meant to be a transformation. We treat it like social media currency - quick to give, quick to withdraw, ultimately worthless.
Look at how we use the word "love" today: We love our new phone (until the next model comes out) We love our job (until something better comes along) We love our partner (until things get difficult)
Like a poorly made suit, this kind of love falls apart at the first sign of stress.
But real love? Real love is more like that vintage timepiece your grandfather passed down. It requires maintenance. Care. Attention. Action.
The Great Re-Depression: How Modern Love Lost Its Tool Belt
Remember that Depression-era couple we talked about? They understood something we've forgotten. When their roof leaked, they didn't buy a new house. When their car broke down, they fixed it. When their marriage faced challenges, they worked through them. They understood that value isn't in the newness - it's in the commitment to maintenance.
Today's statistics tell a sobering story:
Average marriage length before divorce: 8 years
Percentage of marriages ending in divorce: 42%
Average time couples spend in meaningful conversation daily: 7 minutes
Compare that to our grandparents' generation, where marriages routinely lasted 50+ years. What changed? Not human nature. Not love itself. What changed was our approach to maintenance.
Playground Rules: No Phones in the Sandbox
Children understand this instinctively. When I ask my son what makes him feel loved, he doesn't talk about gifts or words. he talks about:
The times I sit and really listen
The moments I put down my phone
The games I play despite being tired
The presence I give when presence is all he needs
This is Ahava in action. This is love as a verb.
The Care Tag Generation: When Love Lost Its Washing Instructions
But here's where we need to get uncomfortably honest: How many of us treat love like we treat our social media feeds - scrolling through quickly, double-tapping occasionally, never really engaging deeply?
In our quest for instant gratification, we've lost the art of maintenance:
We'd rather buy new than repair
We'd rather start fresh than work through
We'd rather replace than restore
Like a man who buys expensive suits but never learns to care for them properly, we invest in relationships but skip the maintenance.
The truly dapper mind understands that maintenance isn't just about keeping things from breaking - it's about building something that lasts. Just as we:
Polish our shoes to maintain their shine
Press our suits to maintain their shape
Groom ourselves to maintain our appearance
We must also:
Maintain our connections through consistent action
Polish our relationships through attentive care
Press through difficulties with determined effort
Because here's the truth that's going to sting: Love without action is just noise. Empty words in a world already too full of empty promises.
Breaking News: Love Goes Off-Script
Sometimes the greatest action we can take to show love is to free ourselves from society's shackles of what love should be. We've let social media and pop culture reduce love to hashtags and heart emojis, to grand gestures and public declarations. But true love, like true style, isn't about the show - it's about the substance.
Think about how we treat the word "love" in our daily lives:
We use it as a mood indicator ("They didn't say 'I love you' back, so they must be mad")
We use it as a bargaining tool ("If you loved me, you would...")
We use it as a measure of relationship health ("We say 'I love you' ten times a day!")
But real love, like a fine timepiece, doesn't need constant verification to prove its worth.
The couples who survived the Depression didn't make it because they said "I love you" more often. They made it because they did love more consistently. When things broke, they fixed them. When times got hard, they got harder. When everything said quit, they chose to stay.
Tailored for Time: The Dapper Man's Love Warranty
This is where the Dapper Minds Society takes a stand. Just as we understand that true refinement goes beyond the surface, we must understand that true love goes beyond the declaration. It's about:
The daily choice to show up
The consistent decision to maintain
The continuous effort to improve
The unwavering commitment to repair rather than replace
Look back at your definition of love from the beginning of this article. How much of it involves action? How much involves choice? How much requires effort?
Because real love - the kind that builds legacies and lasts lifetimes - isn't just about feeling the right things. It's about doing the right things. Even when you don't feel like it. Especially when you don't feel like it.
In a world that's trained us to replace rather than repair, be the one who:
Chooses to fix what's broken
Decides to stay when it's hard
Acts when others only speak
Moves when others only feel
Remember: Love isn't just what you feel in your heart. It's what you do with your hands. It's not just what you say with your mouth. It's what you build with your time. It's not just an emotion to experience. It's an action to take.
So the next time you're about to say "I love you," pause. Like adjusting your tie in the mirror, take a moment to reflect. Ask yourself not just what you feel, but what you're willing to do about it.
Because in the end, love isn't just a word to say. It's a choice to make. A commitment to keep. An action to take. Every single day.
What will your love do today?
Love's Troubleshooting Guide: Direct from the Developer
If we're going to talk about love as action, we need look no further than the ultimate example. While many religious figures spoke about love, Jesus demonstrated it through consistent, sacrificial action.
Consider these moments:
When the disciples were exhausted and hungry, He didn't just feel compassion - He multiplied loaves and fish (Matthew 14:13-21). Love moved Him to action.
When He found His friends grieving for Lazarus, He didn't just offer words of comfort - He wept with them, then acted to raise Lazarus from the dead (John 11:35-44). Love moved Him to tears, then to power.
When Peter denied Him three times, He didn't discard the relationship - He restored it with three opportunities for Peter to affirm his love (John 21:15-17). Love moved Him to restore rather than replace.
At the last supper, He didn't just tell His disciples He loved them - He got down on His knees and washed their feet (John 13:1-17). Love moved Him to serve.
Even on the cross, in His moment of greatest suffering, His love took action:
Forgave those crucifying Him (Luke 23:34)
Ensured His mother would be cared for (John 19:26-27)
Promised paradise to the repentant thief (Luke 23:43)
The ultimate expression wasn't just that "God so loved the world" - it's that this love moved Him to give His only Son (John 3:16). Love motivated the greatest action in history.
Look at His commands about love:
"Love your enemies" - by doing good to them (Matthew 5:44)
"Love your neighbor" - by actively helping them (Luke 10:25-37)
"Love one another" - as I have loved you (John 13:34)
Notice the pattern? Each expression of love requires action. It's not enough to feel love for enemies - you must act in love toward them. It's not enough to feel love for neighbors - you must show love to them.
This is Ahava personified. Every miracle, every healing, every moment of forgiveness wasn't just about feeling love - it was about doing love.
In a world that reduces love to emotions and words, Christ's example stands as a testament to love as deliberate, consistent, sacrificial action.
Celestial Coverage: God’s Promises Pressed and Preserved
Consider for a moment the intricate, unceasing nature of God's love in action:
While You Sleep: "He will not let your foot slip— he who watches over you will not slumber" (Psalm 121:3). Think about that. While you toss and turn, while your mind finally rests, your Father is actively watching over you. Like a parent checking on their child throughout the night, He never takes a break from His loving vigilance.
In Your Daily Walk: "The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you" (Deuteronomy 31:8). Before you face that meeting, before you confront that challenge, before you even know what's coming - He's already there, preparing the way.
In Your Moments of Weakness: "The Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans" (Romans 8:26). When you're too tired to pray, too hurt to find the words, too confused to know what to ask for - He's actively advocating for you.
In Your Planning: "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" (Jeremiah 29:11). Like a master architect, He's actively working on your blueprint, considering every detail of your life.
In Your Protection: "He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge" (Psalm 91:4). This isn't passive protection - it's active sheltering, like a mother bird constantly adjusting her wings to keep her chicks safe.
In Your Provision: "Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them" (Matthew 6:26). Every day, He's actively providing - not just the big miracles, but the small daily bread we often take for granted.
Even In Your Wandering: Like the father of the prodigal son, He actively watches the horizon for your return. He doesn't just wait - He runs to meet you when you turn toward home (Luke 15:20).
The Art of Box Breathing:
Like adjusting a perfectly knotted tie, box breathing is about precision and intention. This elegant technique, used by elite military units and executives alike, brings calm with sophisticated simplicity:
Corner One:
Inhale for 4 counts - like methodically buttoning a vest
Corner Two:
Hold for 4 counts - steady, like maintaining perfect posture
Corner Three:
Exhale for 4 counts - smooth, like the perfect windsor knot
Corner Four:
Hold empty for 4 counts - poised, like the pause before a speech
Progressive Muscle Relaxation:
Moving through your body with the same attention to detail you'd give a wardrobe inspection:
Begin at your feet, tensing each muscle group for 5 seconds
Release with intention, noting the sensation of relief
Progress upward like a master tailor examining fine fabric
End at your facial muscles, feeling tension dissolve like morning mist
The 5-4-3-2-1 Method:
A grounding technique as refined as selecting accessories:
5 - things you can see - like choosing the perfect pocket square
4 - things you can touch - like feeling fine silk between your fingers
3 - things you can hear - like appreciating a symphony
2 - things you can smell - like sampling a signature cologne
1 - thing you can taste - like savoring aged wagyu steak
Mindful Walking:
Transform a simple stroll into a meditation in motion:
Feel each step like testing fine leather shoes
Notice your surroundings with the attention of a master craftsman
Let your breath align with your pace, creating harmony in motion
Evening Reflection:
End your day like closing a fine establishment:
Review the day's events with measured consideration
Note areas for improvement with gentle scrutiny
Acknowledge victories with quiet dignity
Set intentions for tomorrow with purposeful clarity
Remember: Relief from stress isn't about escaping reality – it's about mastering your response to it. Like a perfectly tailored suit, your stress management should fit your personal style while maintaining impeccable standards.
Practice these techniques with the same dedication you bring to maintaining your finest garments. Your mind deserves no less attention than your wardrobe.
Your Daily Affirmation
What Does Not Define You:
Your past does not define you – it refines you
Your scars do not define you – they remind you of your strength
Your pain does not define you – it teaches you compassion
Your mistakes do not define you – they guide your growth
Your failures do not define you – they pave your path to success
Your struggles do not define you – they shape your resilience
Your fears do not define you – they reveal your courage
Your doubts do not define you – they lead you to certainty
Your wounds do not define you – they mark where you've healed
Your trauma does not define you – it shows what you've overcome
What Defines You (Biblical Promises):
You are the head and not the tail (Deuteronomy 28:13)
You are more than a conqueror (Romans 8:37)
You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14)
You are chosen and appointed to bear fruit (John 15:16)
You are God's masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10)
You are a royal priesthood, a holy nation (1 Peter 2:9)
You are blessed coming in and going out (Deuteronomy 28:6)
You are the light of the world (Matthew 5:14)
You are redeemed and forgiven (Ephesians 1:7)
You are sealed with the promised Holy Spirit (Ephesians 1:13)
You are a new creation; the old has passed away (2 Corinthians 5:17)
You are an overcomer by the blood of the Lamb (Revelation 12:11)
Daily Declaration:
I am not defined by the words 'I love you,' but by the actions that prove them true. My worth is not measured in declarations, but in demonstrations. Like Christ washing feet, my love finds its power not in what I say, but in what I do.
Today, I choose to wear love like a craftsman wears their trade - in calloused hands and committed heart. I am not satisfied with shallow expressions of love, for true love demands movement, requires effort, creates evidence.
I am not what society says love should be. I am not what social media portrays as romance. I am not bound by others' definitions of connection. I am love in action, purpose in motion, commitment in deed.
I will not merely speak love - I will do love. I will not simply feel love - I will show love. I will not just promise love - I will prove love.
Remember: Your love is not built on the emotions you feel, but on the actions you take. You are not measured by the love you claim, but by the love you demonstrate.
Prayer:
Father, You who never slumber nor sleep, teach me to love as You love - constantly, actively, sacrificially.
Lord, when I am tempted to let my love be mere words, Remind me of Your Son's hands - washing feet, breaking bread, bearing nails. When I am inclined to let my love grow passive, Show me Your heart - ever watching, ever working, ever pursuing.
Help me to:
Love through fatigue like You who never tire
Love through difficulty like You who never waver
Love through rejection like You who never abandon
Love through time like You who never change
Give me strength to:
Fix what others would discard
Stay when others would leave
Act when others only speak
Move when others only feel
Let my love be: Steady as Your sunrise Constant as Your mercy Active as Your grace Present as Your Spirit
In Jesus' name, who showed us love's ultimate action, Amen.
Today’s Holiday Inspiration
"Like a silent prayer carried on morning frost, each day holds sacred possibilities for those who pause long enough to notice them."
On this American Painters Day, let's talk about the masterpiece that is your life. Like an artist facing a blank canvas, each morning presents us with an opportunity to create something meaningful.
While we celebrate National Patient Recognition Day and honor Women Physicians, we're reminded that some of life's most beautiful works come from those who dedicate themselves to healing others. They understand that every day is a chance to add another brushstroke of compassion to the world's canvas.
Today also marks "The Day the Music Died" - when Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, and The Big Bopper took their final bow. Yet their legacy reminds us that while songs may end, the music they inspire plays on. Sometimes our greatest impact resonates long after we've left the stage.
Consider the Four Chaplains, whose story we commemorate today. These men of different faiths gave their life jackets to others on a sinking ship in WWII, choosing to go down with the vessel while linking arms in prayer. They showed us that true heroism isn't about grand gestures - it's about small acts of sacrifice painted with great love.
Even nature offers its lessons today. On Feed the Birds Day, we're reminded that sometimes the smallest gestures - like scattering crumbs for hungry birds - can create ripples of kindness in our world.
As we mark National Wedding Ring Day, we're reminded that life's masterpieces aren't always hung in galleries. Sometimes they're found in the simple circle of a ring, representing endless commitment and daily choices to love.
Your Monday Canvas:
Like an artist, you have colors of possibility at your disposal
Like a physician, you have the power to heal
Like a musician, you can leave echoes that outlast your performance
Like the chaplains, you can choose courage in small moments
Like the birds, you can find nourishment in simple kindness
Like a wedding ring, you can make your life a symbol of enduring purpose
Remember: Every masterpiece starts with a single stroke. What will you paint today?
What colors will you add to the world's canvas this week?
Would you like me to adjust any aspect of this message to make it more impactful?My articles published with Mental Health Television Network
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