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INTRODUCTION
A Word Before We Begin
Dear Esteemed Members of The Dapper Minds Society,
I need to share something that’s been burning in my chest for months—something that kept me away from these letters not because I stopped caring, but because I was building something I couldn’t talk about until it was ready.
You know me through these words—conversations about biblical masculinity, intentional fatherhood, the quiet courage it takes to lead a family well when the world screams “good enough.” But there’s a part of my vision you haven’t seen yet: I believe your faith should be visible. Not just in how you pray at the table, how you discipline with love, how you repent in front of your kids—but in how you carry yourself. In what you wear. In the way you walk into a room with quiet confidence, clothed in purpose, not performance.
That’s why I launched Salty Bear.
This isn’t just an apparel brand. It’s a declaration you wear every single day.
The name comes from two Scriptures that have anchored me through every season of doubt, failure, and breakthrough:
“You are the salt of the earth… but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored?” (Matthew 5:13) — preserving what’s good, enhancing what matters, refusing to lose your flavor in a world that demands bland conformity.
“By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples.” (John 15:8) — not just surviving, but producing something eternal, something that outlasts you, something your great-grandchildren will point to and say, “That’s where the shift began.”
Salty Bear is faith-inspired, heirloom-quality apparel for men who refuse to blend in. Premium fabrics that feel like a hug from your grandfather’s old flannel but look sharp enough for a boardroom. Expert craftsmanship that survives treehouses, baptisms, and backyard barbecues. Designs that carry meaning—not trendy slogans, but convictions etched into every thread.
This isn’t fast fashion that falls apart in six months. This is clothing built to last—passed down to your sons, worn with pride at weddings and funerals, first days of school and final farewells. Every stitch honors the investment you make, both financially and spiritually.
If you’ve been reading these letters and feeling the pull—“I want to live this way: present, intentional, Christlike”—now you can wear it too.
Check out Salty Bear and see what we’re building together. This is more than a brand. It’s a movement of faith warriors who choose substance over style, conviction over convenience, legacy over likes.
Stay salty. Bear fruit. Live with purpose.
Now, let’s talk about the one thing that threatens every man who dares to live this way—the quiet assassin that shows up the moment you start building something that matters. The one who doesn’t attack from the outside… but from within the camp. The one you love almost as much as you love your calling.
With Intentional Regard,
Nick Stout
Founder, The Dapper Minds Society
The Demonic Assassin: When Judas Leaves, John Stays
November 11th, 2025 – Episode 43
A Word of Caution Up Front When we say “let Judas go,” “cut off Delilah,” or “kill the demon,” we are speaking spiritually, not literally.
Do not harm anyone.
Do not file for divorce without fasting, prayer, and godly counsel.
Do not sever relationships without seeking the Lord’s heart.
“For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.” (Ephesians 6:12)
Every action must be bathed in prayer and fasting. Every decision must be weighed against Scripture and wise counsel. Every wound must be brought to the cross, not the courtroom.
This is spiritual warfare, not human retaliation.
There’s a pattern in Scripture no one preaches about enough—and it’s the same pattern that’s been unfolding in our trilogy these past three weeks.
We’ve watched spiritual warfare in slow motion:
Week 1 (Screwtape’s Letters): Hell’s quiet schemes to erode fathers through comfortable numbness—the phone that became a pacifier, the distraction that felt like relief, the slow leak of presence that left a family full of strangers. The father didn’t wake up one day and decide to abandon his children. He woke up one day and realized he already had—because he loved the escape more than the effort.
Week 2 (Gabriel’s Letters): Heaven’s fierce counter-call to break free—not just change behavior, but reject what had become normal, to fight for the man God called you to be before the numbness calcified into identity. The call wasn’t to “try harder.” It was to stop loving the thing that was killing you.
Week 3 (Letter’s from the Father): Letters from God, detailing all the times he was there through the good and the bad times. The true love letter from the Father.
Week 4 (Today): The final piece—the demonic assassin who doesn’t attack from the outside, but from within the camp. The one who walks beside you, eats with you, prays with you—and the one you invite to bed because it feels too good to let go.
The enemy isn’t the obvious villain. He’s the one who carries your money bag. He’s the one who texts you memes. He’s the one who makes you feel alive while slowly draining your soul.
He’s Judas.
And worse—he’s the Judas inside you: the sin you’ve stopped fighting because you’ve learned to love its company.
You cannot defeat the demons when you love their company.
This is the single thread tying everything together:
The father in Screwtape didn’t lose his family to a dramatic affair—he lost them to the comfortable escape of his phone, the demon he loved more than his children’s eyes.
The call in Gabriel wasn’t just to change behavior, but to reject what had become normal, to stop loving the numbness that was killing him.
And now Judas and Samson show us the endgame: slow compromise feels safe until it destroys everything—because you loved the destroyer more than the destiny.
If you’re building something that matters—if you’re stepping into biblical masculinity, leading your family with intention, breaking generational curses, refusing to be another distracted dad—there will be a Judas in your story.
Someone close who turns.
Someone trusted who wounds.
Someone you thought was running the same race.
But the greater danger is the demon you’ve kept as a lover—the comfortable sin you defend, the numbness you justify, the slow fade you’ve stopped noticing because it feels good.
Scripture promises two things:
There will be a Judas who leaves.
There will be a John who stays.
And the choice before you is this:
Will you obsess over the one who left, or honor the one who stayed—while finally evicting the demon you’ve been sleeping with?
Because here’s the truth no one wants to say out loud:
Most men love their Judas as much as Samson loved Delilah.
They know she’s trying to destroy them.
They’ve seen the betrayal three times.
And they keep going back—because the comfort feels better than the calling.
The Two Faces of the Demonic Assassin
1. The Judas Outside You: Betrayal from the Inner Circle
Judas wasn’t an enemy. He was family.
He heard the Sermon on the Mount.
He saw blind eyes open, dead men walk.
He was chosen.
He carried the money bag.
He prayed with Jesus.
He laughed at His jokes.
He was trusted.
He walked the same dusty roads.
He ate the same bread.
He slept under the same stars.
Yet he betrayed Jesus for thirty pieces of silver.
It wasn’t sudden. It was a slow fade:
Small thefts from the money bag (John 12:6) — “It’s just a little. No one will notice. I’m doing the work too.”
Disillusionment with Jesus’ mission — “I thought He’d overthrow Rome. This dying talk doesn’t fit my plan. I believed in a conqueror, not a corpse.”
Pride that he knew better — “I can force His hand. I’ll make Him act. I’ll be the catalyst.”
And finally, demonic entry because the door was already open (Luke 22:3) — “Satan entered into Judas.” Not as a stranger, but as a welcome guest.
The most devastating attacks come from the inside.
Your Judas shows up when:
Your marriage is finally healing after years of drift—your wife smiles again, your kids call you “Dad” with warmth, not obligation.
Your business is about to launch after a decade of grinding—investors are calling, the prototype works, the vision is real.
Your family culture is taking root—kids praying, wife glowing, home alive with laughter and Scripture and purpose.
You’re becoming dangerous to hell’s kingdom—leading men, discipling sons, breaking chains that bound your father and his father before him.
Why? Because the enemy doesn’t waste ammunition on men who are coasting. He reserves his sharpest knives for those who are on the verge of breakthrough.
The goal isn’t just to hurt you.
It’s to make you quit.
To make you doubt your calling.
To make you question if it’s worth it.
To make you stop building.
To make you say, “I was wrong. This is too hard. I’m done.”
2. The Judas Inside You: The Demon You Love
But the deadlier assassin is the one you’ve invited to dinner—and then to bed.
Samson—strongest man alive—defeated by Delilah in his lap.
She betrayed him three times.
Each time, the Philistines were waiting.
Each time, he escaped.
So why did he keep going back?
Because he loved her more than he loved his calling.
Judges 16:4-5:
“After this he loved a woman in the Valley of Sorek, whose name was Delilah. And the lords of the Philistines came up to her and said to her, ‘Seduce him, and see where his great strength lies…’”
She didn’t hide her intent.
She didn’t pretend to be loyal.
She told him she was working for his enemies.
And he still went back.
Judges 16:16-17:
“And when she pressed him hard with her words day after day, and urged him, his soul was vexed to death. So he told her everything…”
He let his destroyer nag him into surrender.
Sound familiar?
Your phone.
Your porn.
Your anger.
Your bitterness.
Your pride.
Your “harmless” fantasy life.
Your “just one drink” after work.
Your “I’ll start tomorrow” laziness.
Your “I deserve this” indulgence.
You know it’s killing you.
You’ve seen the betrayal three times.
You’ve felt the conviction.
You’ve promised “never again.”
And you keep going back—because the comfort feels better than the calling.
This is how demons work:
Introduction – Feels wrong. Conviction stings. You swear it’s the last time. “I was tired. Stressed. It won’t happen again.”
Rationalization – “It’s not that bad.” “I deserve this.” “I’m under stress.” “Everyone does it.” “It’s not hurting anyone.”
Normalization – Shame fades. It feels normal. You stop calling it sin and start calling it “my personality.” “This is just how I unwind.”
Enjoyment – You look forward to it. You protect it. You defend it when challenged. “Don’t judge me.” “You don’t understand.”
Identity – It’s no longer what you do. It’s who you are. “I’m just a guy who needs his phone time.” “I’m just wired this way.” “This is my coping mechanism.”
Betrayal – By the time you see the damage, you can’t imagine life without it. Like Judas, you’ve kept company with demons so long that when they finally ask you to betray everything, it feels normal.
The Pattern That Connects Them: Love Makes the Assassin Lethal
Both Judases follow the same playbook—and the glue that holds it together is love.
Phase | External Judas (Betrayal) | Internal Judas (Comfortable Sin) |
|---|---|---|
Proximity | Gets close. Inner circle. “Brother.” “Partner.” “Mentee.” | You invite it in. “Just once.” “Just to cope.” “Just to relax.” |
Discontent | Questions your direction. “This isn’t what I signed up for.” “You’ve changed.” | You feel conviction. “This is wrong.” “I shouldn’t.” |
Justification | “He’s changed.” “I can’t support this.” “He’s not the leader I thought.” | “Everyone does it.” “It helps me relax.” “I’m not hurting anyone.” |
The Kiss | The betrayal. The knife in the back. The public post. The silent exit. | The moment you enjoy it. The first hit of dopamine that says, “This is worth it.” |
Love Grows | You loved them. Trusted them. Invested in them. Poured into them. | You love it. Crave it. Protect it. Defend it. |
Aftermath | They leave or double down. Spread their narrative. | You defend it. It becomes identity. You can’t imagine life without it. |
The betrayal is about what was allowed to grow in the darkness—not what suddenly appeared in the light.
And the reason it grows?
You loved it.
You loved the Judas who flattered you.
You loved the Delilah who made you feel alive.
You loved the demon who whispered, “This is fine.”
Why Men Love Their Judas (And How It Destroys Them)
1. The Judas Outside You: Love Makes the Wound Deeper
You loved them.
You mentored them.
You celebrated their wins.
You let them into your home, your dreams, your vulnerabilities.
You saw potential.
You believed in them.
You invested time, money, prayer.
And when they turn, it’s not just betrayal—it’s heartbreak.
Because love was real.
Trust was real.
The vision you shared was real.
The late-night talks were real.
The shared tears were real.
Now they’re gone.
And they took a piece of you with them.
But here’s the truth:
You didn’t cause their betrayal by loving them.
You caused it by loving them more than you loved the mission.
Judas wasn’t Jesus’ failure.
Judas was Judas’ failure.
Your Judas isn’t your failure.
Your Judas is your filter.
God is removing people who:
Love the idea of the vision but not the cost
Love your platform but not your pain
Love your success but not your sanctification
Love being close to the fire but not the heat
Let them go.
Not with bitterness.
Not with endless rehashing.
Let them go with grace.
Because the mission is bigger than the heartbreak.
The calling is louder than the criticism.
The kingdom is waiting for what you’re building—and it doesn’t need people who only love the highlight reel.
2. The Judas Inside You: Love Makes the Sin Stick
You love it.
You know it’s wrong.
You know it’s killing you.
But it feels good.
And that’s the problem.
You cannot defeat what you love.
Samson loved Delilah’s lap more than God’s presence.
Judas loved the money bag more than the Messiah.
The father in Screwtape loved his phone more than his daughter’s laugh.
And you?
You love the escape.
You love the numbness.
You love the control.
You love the fantasy.
You love the anger that makes you feel powerful.
You love the pride that says, “I don’t need help.”
You love the “harmless” scroll that steals your sleep.
You love the “just one more episode” that steals your morning.
You love the “I deserve this” that steals your discipline.
And because you love it, you keep it.
Even when it’s shaving years off your life.
Even when it’s stealing your children’s childhood.
Even when it’s turning your wife into a stranger.
Even when it’s making you a man you don’t recognize.
Even when it’s costing you your anointing.
Even when it’s costing you your destiny.
Love makes the demon lethal.
The Trap: Staring at Judas’s Empty Chair (While Delilah Sleeps in Your Bed)
After Judas left, the disciples could’ve spent years asking:
“How did we miss it?”
“What does this say about us?”
“We should’ve seen the signs…”
“How could we trust him?”
“What if we’re next?”
But they didn’t.
They replaced him (Acts 1:26) and kept building.
This is the enemy’s trap:
He sends Judas to wound you, then whispers, “Obsess over the wound.”
He sends Delilah to seduce you, then whispers, “Just one more night.”
While you’re staring at Judas’s empty chair, you’re missing John standing faithfully beside you.
While you’re scrolling in bed, you’re missing your wife’s hand reaching for yours.
While you’re nursing bitterness, you’re missing the breakthrough on the other side.
The people who left were supposed to leave.
The sin you love was never supposed to stay.
Your Judas is your filter.
Your Delilah is your funeral.
John: The One Who Stayed at the Cross
John 19:26-27:
“When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said, ‘Woman, here is your son,’ and to the disciple, ‘Here is your mother.’”
John stayed when:
It was dangerous
Peter denied
The others fled
The sky went dark
The dream seemed dead
The Leader was dying
The movement was over
And because he remained, Jesus gave him His mother—the most precious relationship in His human life.
Staying earns trust. Leaving forfeits it.
Your John isn’t impressed by your vision. He’s committed to you.
He doesn’t need perfection. He needs authenticity.
He stands closer when the world walks away.
He texts you at 3 a.m. when you’re spiraling.
He shows up when you’re broken.
He prays when you can’t.
Stop mourning Judas. Start honoring John.
Stop sleeping with Delilah. Start fighting for your destiny.
The Jesus Model: Handling Both Judases
Jesus faced both assassins—and gives us the blueprint:
He Knew It Was Coming (John 6:70-71)
“Did I not choose you, the twelve? And yet one of you is a devil.”
He chose Judas anyway. The mission > the pain.
He loved Judas anyway. The cross > the kiss.He Didn’t Prevent It (Matthew 26:50)
“Friend, do what you came for.”
Sometimes people must reveal themselves.
Sometimes you must face the consequences of loving the wrong thing to wake up.
Sometimes the betrayal is the doorway to the resurrection.He Didn’t Defend Himself (Matthew 26:62-63)
Silence.
Your character speaks.
God vindicates.
And you don’t need to defend the sin you love—just kill it.He Forgave (Luke 23:34)
“Father, forgive them…”
Forgiveness = freedom. For you, not them.
And you must forgive yourself for loving the demon that was killing you.He Kept Building (Matthew 28:19-20)
After betrayal, death, resurrection—He built His church.
Keep building.
Not in spite of the pain.
Through the pain.
Beyond the pain.He Cut Off What Was Killing Him (Matthew 5:29-30)
“If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out…”
Drastic? Yes.
Necessary? Absolutely.
Better to enter life maimed than to keep the comfort and lose the calling.
Your Action Plan: Let Judas Go, Honor John, Kill Delilah
Grieve, But Don’t Camp – Feel the pain. Cry. Yell. Journal. Then get up.
Learn the Lesson – What red flags did I ignore? What access did I give too soon? Don’t get cynical.
Honor Your John – Call him today. “Thank you for staying. I see you. I need you.”
Stop Rehearsing – Tell the story once—to process, not to perform. Then build.
Kill the Comfortable Sin – Name it. Confess it. Cut it off.
Delete the app.
Install the filter.
Tell your wife.
Get a flip phone.
Cancel the subscription.
Burn the bridge.
Do something drastic.
Keep Building – The best response? Obedience.
Build the marriage.
Build the family.
Build the legacy.
Build the kingdom.
A Warning About Bitterness (And Why It’s Just Another Delilah)
Hebrews 12:15 – “See to it that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.”
Bitterness starts as “justified hurt.”
“They had no right.”
“After all I did for them.”
“I trusted them.”
If unchecked, it defiles everything.
Bitter men raise bitter children.
Bitter leaders build bitter cultures.
Bitter believers reflect a bitter God who doesn’t exist.
You can’t afford bitterness.
Not because they deserve forgiveness.
Because you deserve freedom.
And bitterness?
It’s just another Delilah.
You love how it makes you feel righteous.
You love replaying the wound.
You love the victim story.
You love the “I was wronged” narrative.
Cut it off.
Forgive.
Release.
Move forward.
The Ultimate Truth: God Uses Judas (And Even Delilah)
Judas’s betrayal → crucifixion → resurrection → salvation.
Samson’s failure → one final prayer → the temple falls → Philistines defeated.
Joseph’s brothers sold him → positioned him to save nations.
David’s family mocked him → he became king.
The religious leaders killed Jesus → fulfilled prophecy.
Your Judas can’t stop what God has ordained.
Your Delilah can’t steal what God has promised.
He’s already factored it in.
The resurrection is coming.
To the Man in the Middle of It
If your Judas just kissed you in the garden—this is not the end.
If you’re still sleeping with Delilah—if you know the comfortable sin slowly stealing your destiny—you can still break free.
But you must stop loving it.
Look up.
There’s a John standing there.
Your wife who’s remained faithful through every season
The brother who checks in without being asked
The friend who shows up with coffee and prayer
The mentor who refuses to let you quit
Focus on who stayed.
Now look in the mirror.
What demon have you named a lover?
The phone numbing your presence?
The porn stealing your intimacy?
The anger poisoning your home?
The bitterness you nurse like wine?
The pride that says, “I’m fine”?
The laziness that says, “Tomorrow”?
You cannot defeat what you love.
Samson died blind and enslaved because he wouldn’t let go of Delilah.
But you’re not Samson.
You’re reading this.
You’re awake.
You still have your strength.
God’s presence hasn’t left you yet.
So cut it off.
Delete the apps.
Confess to someone.
Get help.
Forgive.
Kill the comfortable before it kills your calling.
The Choice Before You
Every man faces betrayal.
Every man faces temptation.
Not every man responds well.
Will you become bitter or better?
Will you quit or build with fire?
Will you obsess over who left or invest in who stayed?
Will you let Judas define you or let Jesus refine you?
Will you keep loving Delilah or finally cut her off?
Choose wisely.
Because your response to betrayal—and your response to the demon you love—will determine whether this season makes you or breaks you.
Final Word: Keep Building — Clean, Free, and Uncompromised
If I could say one thing to every man who’s been betrayed or bound by comfortable sin:
Keep building.
Not to prove them wrong.
Not to show them what they’re missing.
Not for revenge or vindication.
Keep building because God called you, and that calling doesn’t expire when people leave or when sin feels good.
Keep loving your wife well, even if friends betrayed you.
Keep parenting with intention, even if business partners left you.
Keep leading with integrity, even if team members quit.
Keep pursuing Christlikeness, even if church members gossiped.
But build clean.
Build free.
Build without the demon you’ve been loving.
Let Judas go.
Honor John.
Cut off Delilah.
Follow Jesus.
And get back to work.
The kingdom is waiting for what you’re building.
But it can’t be built while you’re sleeping with the enemy.
Daily Affirmation
When Judas Leaves, John Stays, and Delilah Whispers:
I will not let betrayal make me bitter (Hebrews 12:15)
I will focus on who stayed, not who left (John 19:26-27)
I will forgive as Christ forgave me (Colossians 3:13)
I will learn the lesson and move forward (Philippians 3:13-14)
I will keep building what God called me to build (Matthew 28:19-20)
I cannot defeat demons while loving their company (James 4:7)
I will cut off what's comfortable before it kills my calling (Matthew 5:29-30)
I will not be like Samson—I will recognize Delilah before she steals my destiny (Judges 16)
I will not be like Judas—I will deal with compromise before it leads to betrayal (Luke 22:3)
I am not defined by others' faithfulness but by God's (2 Timothy 2:13)
My story is not over; this is a chapter, not the ending (Romans 8:28)
Daily Declaration:
“There will be a Judas in my story, but there will also be a John—and a Delilah I’ve loved too long. I choose to honor the one who stays, release the one who left, and kill the sin I’ve kept as a lover. I know its name: [name your demon]. I will cut it off, even if it hurts, even if I’ll miss it, because my calling is worth more than my comfort. God is using even this betrayal for His glory. I am refined, not ruined. I am focused, not fractured. I am free. I keep building—clean, strong, and uncompromised.”
Daily Refinements for the Dapper Mind
Morning Prayer:
Father, open my eyes today. Show me my John who needs honoring. Help me release my Judas with grace. But most of all—reveal the Delilah I’ve been sleeping with. The comfortable sin I’ve loved more than my calling. Give me courage to cut her off today, even if it hurts, even if I’ll miss her. Keep my heart soft toward the faithful and ruthless toward compromise. I build for You—not for approval, not for comfort, but for Your glory.
Midday Check:
Who has stayed faithful that I need to thank today?
What comfortable sin am I protecting right now?
Am I rehearsing betrayal or honoring faithfulness?
Am I loving something that’s trying to destroy me?
Evening Reflection:
Who showed faithfulness today? Did I honor them?
What demon did I entertain today? What needs confession?
Am I still building—or have I let pain or pleasure make me quit?
What did I love today that wasn’t God?
Before Sleep – The Samson Prayer:
Father, I don’t want to be Samson—blind, enslaved, grinding grain for my enemies because I couldn’t let go of what felt good. Show me my Delilah. Show me what I’m keeping in my life that’s trying to destroy me. Give me the strength to cut it off before it’s too late. I don’t want to wake up one day and realize Your presence has left and I didn’t even notice. Keep me sensitive to Your Spirit. Keep me aware of compromise. Keep me willing to sacrifice comfort for calling. I am Yours. My destiny is Yours. Don’t let me trade it for temporary pleasure. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Remember:
Let Judas go.
Honor John.
Kill the demon you love.
Follow Jesus.
And keep building—clean, free, and fully alive.
The kingdom is waiting.
Reply with your John, your Judas, your Delilah by name. We fight together. We build together. We win together.