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Before you read another word, I want you to stop and do something.

Don't skip this. Don't think "I'll come back to it later." Do it right now.

Take out your phone or grab a piece of paper. Set a timer for 2 minutes. And write down everything you're thankful for.

Everything that comes to mind. Don't overthink it. Don't judge whether it's "important enough" to make the list. Just write.

Go ahead. I'll wait.

2 minutes. Start now.

(Seriously, do the exercise before continuing)

Done?

Good. Keep that list. We're going to come back to it.

Now let's talk about what you probably didn't write down.

Dear Esteemed Members of The Dapper Minds Society,

We live in a world obsessed with what's missing.

What we don't have. What we wish was different. What we're striving for. What's going wrong. What's broken. What's frustrating us today.

We wake up on the wrong side of the bed and spend the entire day cataloging complaints—traffic was terrible, coffee was cold, boss was demanding, kids were loud, wife was distant, weather was bad, work was stressful.

We can spend hours recounting everything wrong with our day. But ask us what went right? What we're grateful for?

Blank stare.

Maybe "my health" or "my family" if we're really thinking about it. Generic platitudes that sound good but don't really shift anything in our hearts.

Here's what I've discovered: We're surrounded by blessings we've become completely blind to.

Not the big, obvious ones—though we take those for granted too. I'm talking about the small, everyday, mundane miracles that make our lives possible. The things that if they disappeared tomorrow would devastate us, but today we don't even notice.

We're like children throwing tantrums in a room full of gifts, screaming about the one toy we don't have.

And it's robbing us of joy. It's stealing our peace. It's making us bitter when we could be grateful. It's turning us into men who complain about what's wrong instead of celebrating what's right.

So today, we're going to do something different.

We're going to slow down. We're going to pay attention. We're going to notice the blessings hiding in plain sight.

We're going to count our blessings.

Not in some superficial, Instagram-gratitude kind of way. But in a deep, soul-shifting, perspective-changing way that makes you realize just how rich you actually are.

With Grateful Regard,

Nick Stout
Founder, The Dapper Minds Society

There's a reason gratitude has become a buzzword in self-help circles—we've lost it as a practice, and its absence is destroying us.

Our grandparents understood gratitude in ways we don't. They lived through actual scarcity—wars, depression, rationing. They knew what it meant to go without. So when they had, they appreciated.

We live in unprecedented abundance. We have access to more food, more comfort, more convenience, more opportunity than any generation in human history.

And we're the most entitled, ungrateful, discontent generation ever.

We complain about WiFi being slow. They were grateful for a phone line.
We complain about traffic. They walked miles to work.
We complain about having "nothing to eat" while staring into a full refrigerator. They knew actual hunger.
We complain about being tired. They worked 12-hour days in factories.
We complain about our 2,000 square foot house feeling small. They raised seven kids in 800 square feet.

We have everything and appreciate nothing.

This isn't about glorifying the past or pretending life was better "back then." It's about recognizing that somewhere along the way, we lost the ability to see what we have.

And when you can't see what you have, you can't be grateful for it. And when you're not grateful, you're miserable—no matter how much you have.

Gratitude isn't about what you have. It's about whether you see it.

Let's go back to that list you made at the beginning. I'm guessing it had some version of these:

All true. All valid. All important.

But let me ask you: Did you count the blessings you didn't even think about?

Did you write "I'm thankful my heart is beating right now without me having to think about it"?

Did you write "I'm thankful I can see these words on this screen"?

Did you write "I'm thankful I have shoes to wear today"?

Probably not. Because those things are so present, so available, so normal that we've stopped seeing them as blessings.

Let me walk you through some of the things you probably didn't count—but should have.

Right now, as you're reading this, your body is performing thousands of miraculous functions without you thinking about it:

Your heart is beating—approximately 100,000 times today—pumping blood to every cell in your body.

Your lungs are breathing—about 20,000 times today—extracting oxygen from air and removing carbon dioxide.

Your eyes are processing light, focusing on these words, sending signals to your brain at lightning speed, allowing you to read and comprehend.

Your digestive system is breaking down the food you ate hours ago, extracting nutrients, fueling every cell.

Your immune system is fighting off bacteria, viruses, and threats you'll never know about.

Your brain is processing information, forming thoughts, storing memories, regulating emotions—all while keeping every system in your body running.

You didn't have to think about any of it. It just happened.

When was the last time you thanked God that your heart is beating? That your lungs are breathing? That your eyes can see?

Never? Because it seems obvious?

Ask someone who's had a heart attack if a beating heart is obvious.
Ask someone with COPD if breathing is obvious.
Ask someone who's gone blind if sight is obvious.

The blessing you don't notice is the blessing you haven't lost yet.

You have a body that works—mostly, probably. Maybe it's not perfect. Maybe you have aches or pains or limitations. Maybe you wish you were in better shape.

But you woke up this morning. Your eyes opened. Your lungs filled with air. Your heart kept beating through the night while you slept.

That's not obvious. That's miraculous.

Turn on your faucet. Water comes out. Hot or cold, your choice. Clean, safe, drinkable.

Have you ever thanked God for that?

Probably not. Because it's normal.

But think about this:

You didn't have to walk two miles to a well and carry water back in buckets.
You didn't have to boil it to make sure it won't kill you.
You didn't have to wonder if there will be enough for your family today.
You didn't have to ration it or choose between drinking and washing.

You turned a handle. Water appeared. You drank it without a second thought.

Billions of people on this planet don't have that.

They walk miles for water that might make them sick. They watch their children die from waterborne diseases. They go to bed thirsty because there's not enough.

And you? You complained that the shower took too long to warm up.

I'm not trying to shame you. I'm trying to wake you up.

The fact that you have unlimited access to clean water is not normal. It's a staggering blessing you've stopped noticing.

Open your refrigerator. What do you see?

Probably more food than most of human history had access to in a month. Different varieties. Different cuisines. Fresh produce. Dairy. Meat. Leftovers. Condiments. Beverages.

And what do you say when you look at all that abundance?

"There's nothing to eat."

You know what "nothing to eat" actually means?

It means empty. It means your children crying from hunger. It means watching them grow weak because you can't feed them. It means going to bed with a stomach cramping from emptiness, waking up with a headache from lack of nutrition.

That's nothing to eat.

What you have is "nothing I feel like eating right now."

You have choices. Options. Variety. The ability to decide "I'm in the mood for this or that."

Do you have any idea how rare that is in human history?

Most of our ancestors ate what was available or they didn't eat. They didn't have preferences. They had survival.

You have a pantry full of food. A freezer full of options. Restaurants you can visit. Groceries you can buy.

And you're complaining because you can't decide what sounds good.

When was the last time you actually thanked God before a meal? Not the quick, rote blessing you mumble out of habit. But genuine gratitude that you have food to eat today?

Look down at what you're wearing.

You have clothes. Probably closets full of them. Different options for different occasions. Shoes. Jackets. Maybe more than you actually wear.

Have you ever thanked God that you have something to wear today?

People are wearing the same outfit for weeks because it's all they have. People are going without coats in winter because they can't afford them. People are wearing shoes with holes because new ones aren't in the budget.

And you? You stood in front of your closet this morning deciding which shirt to wear. You have options.

That's not normal. That's abundance.

You have a roof over your head.

Walls around you. A door that locks. Heat when it's cold. Air conditioning when it's hot. A bed to sleep in. A bathroom. Running water. Electricity.

This is not standard human experience. This is luxury.

For most of human history, shelter meant protection from the elements—barely. A hut. A cave. A tent. Something to keep the rain off and the wind out.

You have climate control. You have insulation. You have comfort.

And what do you do? You complain that your house is too small. That you need more space. That the carpet is outdated or the paint color is boring.

Meanwhile, people are sleeping in tents. Under bridges. In cars. In shelters. On streets.

You have a home. Have you thanked God for that today?

You live in a place where war is not actively happening around you.

Bombs are not falling. Soldiers are not in your streets. You don't have to flee your home because it's a battlefield.

Your children go to school without fear of violence. You go to work without checkpoints. You sleep at night without the sound of gunfire.

This is rare. This is precious. This is not guaranteed.

Millions of people on this planet live in war zones. They run from violence. They bury children. They lose everything to conflict.

You complain about politics and traffic and your annoying coworker.

They're running for their lives.

You have peace. Safety. Stability.

When was the last time you thanked God that you're not dodging bullets?

You can read this newsletter without fear of persecution.

You can worship God openly. You can own a Bible. You can go to church. You can pray in public. You can talk about your faith without being arrested, tortured, or killed.

Millions of Christians worldwide don't have that freedom.

They worship in secret. They hide their Bibles. They risk their lives to gather. They're imprisoned for their faith. They watch family members martyred for believing in Jesus.

And you? You complain about the worship music being too loud or the sermon going too long.

You have freedom to worship. That's not a right. That's a gift.

You can read these words.

Think about that.

You have the ability to look at symbols on a page and extract meaning. You were educated. You can read. You can write. You can communicate.

One in seven people on earth cannot.

They can't read instructions. They can't fill out forms. They can't read to their children. They're locked out of opportunities because they never learned to read.

You learned. You have access to information. You can read the Bible for yourself. You can learn anything you want through books or the internet.

That's not normal. That's privilege.

You woke up this morning.

You opened your eyes. You got another day.

That's not guaranteed. That's a gift.

Someone didn't wake up this morning. Someone's family got the worst phone call of their lives. Someone's last breath was yesterday.

But you? You got another sunrise. Another 24 hours. Another chance to love your wife, hug your children, work toward your calling, walk with God.

And what did you do with the gift of today?

Did you complain? Rush? Waste it? Take it for granted?

Or did you see it for what it is—a miracle that you don't deserve but received anyway?

You're not alone.

You have people in your life. Maybe a wife who loves you. Children who need you. Friends who care. Family who's known you forever.

That's not guaranteed.

Some people are utterly alone. No spouse. No children. No friends. No family. Just isolation and loneliness.

You have someone to come home to. Someone who asks how your day was. Someone who needs you. Someone who's glad you exist.

Have you told them you're grateful for them?

Not in some generic "I love you" way. But specifically: "I'm thankful you're in my life. I'm grateful I get to do life with you. I don't take you for granted."

When was the last time you said that?

If you know Jesus, you have the greatest blessing anyone could ever receive.

Your sins are forgiven. Your eternity is secure. You have the Holy Spirit living in you. You have a Father who loves you. You have access to God through prayer. You have a purpose. You have hope.

You were dead in your sins. Now you're alive in Christ.

You were headed for eternal separation from God. Now you're headed for eternal life with Him.

You were enslaved to sin. Now you're free.

This is the blessing that makes every other blessing pale in comparison.

And yet, how often do you actually stop and thank God for your salvation?

Not just the initial "thank you for saving me" prayer you prayed years ago. But ongoing, daily, fresh gratitude that you are His and He is yours and nothing can separate you from His love?

Here's what happens when you start counting blessings you've been taking for granted:

Your perspective shifts.

The things that were bothering you start to feel small. The complaints that felt justified start to feel petty. The frustrations that consumed you start to lose their power.

Not because your circumstances changed. Because you started seeing what was already there.

You still have the same job—but now you're grateful you have work instead of bitter about the commute.

You still have the same house—but now you're thankful for shelter instead of frustrated about the size.

You still have the same body—but now you're grateful it works instead of critical of how it looks.

Gratitude doesn't change your circumstances. It changes you.

And when you change, everything changes.

A grateful man is a joyful man.
A grateful man is a generous man.
A grateful man is a content man.
A grateful man is an attractive man—to his wife, to his children, to everyone around him.

Nobody wants to be around a complainer. Everyone wants to be around someone who sees the good.

Paul wrote in 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18: "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

Give thanks in ALL circumstances.

Not just the good ones. Not just when things are going well. Not just when you feel like it.

All circumstances.

When work is hard—give thanks you have work.
When kids are loud—give thanks you have kids.
When your wife is frustrated—give thanks you have a wife.
When your body hurts—give thanks you have a body.
When money is tight—give thanks for what you do have.

This isn't toxic positivity. This is biblical obedience.

God didn't say "give thanks when circumstances are good." He said give thanks IN all circumstances—meaning while you're in them, find something to be grateful for.

And here's why this matters: What you focus on grows.

If you focus on what's wrong, you'll find more things wrong.
If you focus on what's missing, you'll feel more lack.
If you focus on what frustrates you, you'll feel more frustrated.

But if you focus on what you're grateful for, you'll find more to be grateful for.

Here's how you shift from entitlement to gratitude:

1. Start Your Day With Gratitude

Before you check your phone, before you get out of bed, say this:

"Thank you, God, that I woke up. Thank you that my heart is beating. Thank you that I have another day. Help me see the blessings I usually miss."

Start with thanks before you start with tasks.

2. Notice the Small Things

Throughout your day, intentionally notice:

The hot shower. The clean water. The coffee. The clothes you chose from a full closet. The car that started. The road you drove on. The job you went to. The coworkers who showed up. The lunch you ate. The roof over your head.

Say thank you—out loud if possible—for things you normally ignore.

3. End Your Day With Gratitude

Before you go to sleep, write down three specific things you're grateful for from today.

Not generic things. Specific:

Specificity trains your brain to look for blessings.

4. Tell People You're Grateful for Them

Don't just think it. Say it.

"Honey, I'm grateful for you."
"Son, I'm thankful you're my kid."
"Friend, I appreciate you being in my life."

Expressed gratitude multiplies joy—for you and for them.

5. Thank God Specifically

Don't just pray generic "thank you for everything" prayers.

Get specific:

"Thank you that my child is healthy."
"Thank you for the job that provides for my family."
"Thank you for forgiving my sins."
"Thank you that I can walk."
"Thank you for my wife's love."

Specific gratitude reveals specific blessings.

Remember that exercise at the beginning? The one where you listed everything you're thankful for in 2 minutes?

Do it again. Right now. Same timer. 2 minutes.

But this time, include all the small things we just talked about. The things you didn't notice before. The things you've been taking for granted.

Go ahead. I'll wait.

(Do the exercise)

How many did you write this time?

More than before? I'm guessing yes.

That's the point.

The blessings were always there. You just weren't seeing them.

And now that you see them, everything changes.

Here's what you need to know: You will forget this.

In a week, you'll be back to complaining about traffic. In a month, you'll be frustrated about your house. In a year, you'll have forgotten most of what we talked about today.

Unless you make gratitude a practice, not just a feeling.

Feelings fade. Practices endure.

You don't wait to "feel grateful" and then practice gratitude. You practice gratitude until you feel grateful.

It's like a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it gets. The less you use it, the weaker it becomes.

You have to fight for gratitude. Because entitlement is the default.

Our culture trains us to focus on lack. Advertising exists to make you dissatisfied with what you have. Social media exists to show you what everyone else has that you don't.

You're swimming upstream when you choose gratitude.

But it's worth it. Because a grateful life is a good life, regardless of circumstances.

Maybe you're reading this and thinking, "Easy for you to say. You don't know what I'm going through."

You're right. I don't.

Maybe you just lost your job. Maybe your marriage is falling apart. Maybe you just got a devastating diagnosis. Maybe your child is struggling. Maybe you're in financial crisis.

I'm not asking you to pretend everything is fine.

I'm not asking you to ignore real pain or real problems.

I'm asking you to find gratitude alongside the struggle.

You can be sad about what you've lost AND grateful for what you still have.
You can be anxious about the future AND thankful for today.
You can be frustrated with your circumstances AND appreciative of the blessings within them.

Gratitude doesn't erase pain. It gives you strength to endure it.

David wrote in Psalm 34:1: "I will bless the LORD at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth."

At ALL times. Not just the good times. All times.

Even in the cave. Even while running from Saul. Even when everything was falling apart.

He chose to bless the Lord anyway.

Can you do that? Can you find something—anything—to be grateful for even in your hardest season?

Your breath. Your faith. The people who've stayed. The fact that you're still here. God's presence. His promises.

There's always something. You just have to look for it.

I heard a story once about a man who stood up in a meeting and said, "I'm the richest man in this room."

Everyone looked at him, confused. He was modestly dressed. Drove an old car. Lived in a small house. Definitely not the wealthiest person there by any financial measure.

But he continued: "I have a wife who loves me. Children who are healthy. A roof over my head. Food in my refrigerator. A job that provides. Friends who care. And a God who saved me. What more could I possibly need to be rich?"

The room went silent.

Because he was right. By every measure that actually matters, he was the richest man there.

Not because he had the most. Because he saw what he had.

That's the secret, gentlemen. The richest man isn't the one with the most. It's the one who's most grateful for what he has.

You might not have everything you want. But if you have breath in your lungs, a beating heart, people who love you, and a Savior who died for you—you're richer than you realize.

Stop focusing on what's missing. Start counting what's there.

The blessings are all around you. In the ordinary. In the everyday. In the small things you've stopped noticing.

Open your eyes. Count your blessings. And watch your life transform.

What I'm Grateful For:

I'm grateful for breath in my lungs (Psalm 150:6)
I'm grateful for eyes that see (Psalm 119:18)
I'm grateful for a body that works (Psalm 139:14)
I'm grateful for food to eat (Psalm 145:15)
I'm grateful for water to drink (John 4:14)
I'm grateful for shelter over my head (Proverbs 24:3-4)
I'm grateful for clothes to wear (Matthew 6:28-30)
I'm grateful for people who love me (1 John 4:7)
I'm grateful for salvation through Jesus (Ephesians 2:8-9)
I'm grateful for another day (Lamentations 3:22-23)

Daily Declaration:

"I will not take for granted what I have while obsessing over what I lack. I will open my eyes to the blessings hiding in plain sight. I will thank God for the ordinary miracles I've stopped noticing. I will be grateful in all circumstances, not just the good ones. I will focus on what I have, not what's missing. I am rich beyond measure—not because I have everything, but because I see what I do have. Today, I choose gratitude over entitlement, thanksgiving over complaining, contentment over comparison. I am blessed."

Morning Gratitude Prayer:
Father, thank You that I woke up. Thank You that my heart is beating, my lungs are breathing, my eyes are seeing. Thank You for another day I don't deserve but You gave me anyway. Open my eyes today to see the blessings I usually miss. Help me notice the small miracles. Keep me from entitlement. Fill me with gratitude. Let thanksgiving be my default, not complaining. Help me see how rich I truly am.

Throughout the Day:
Every time you notice something you usually take for granted, say out loud: "Thank You, God, for _______."

The hot shower. The clean water. The food. The clothes. The car. The job. The health. The person.

Train your brain to see blessings.

Evening Gratitude Journal:
Before bed, write down at least five specific things you're grateful for from today.

Not generic. Specific.

Then read them out loud as prayers: "Thank You, God, for _______."

Weekly Practice:
Once a week, tell someone specific why you're grateful for them.

Your wife. Your child. Your friend. Your coworker. Your pastor.

"I'm grateful for you because _______."

Monthly Challenge:
Once a month, write the "Count Your Blessings" list again. See how many you can write in 2 minutes.

Watch the number grow as your eyes open to what's always been there.

Remember: You're not poor because of what you lack. You're rich because of what you have—if you'll just open your eyes and see it.

If this newsletter impacted you, share it with a father who needs to know he's not alone.

Your family is worth fighting for. And Heaven is fighting with you.

—Nick Stout, The Dapper Minds Society